Religious gifts
Mu Nv person says: “ I already married marriage 6 years, have the daughter of a 5 one full year of life. Be in daughter a week when year old, my marriage appeared the crisis. He has an affair and quarrel to start work every time hit me. These year I am driven beyond forbearance really, daydream want to leave. Remember that wife has said every time, must the marriage me is broken. I am really ill-affected, also not reconciled to. I am hated only without feeling to him and make reprisals, the house is the under one’s name of his father, I do not have a career again, and agree to divorce he does not give me belongings solatium again, what such life passes is very tired, don’t I know this what course to follow? ”

　　→ attacks expert notion continuously

　　
　　Expert viewpoint

The example in actual life that resembles Mu Nv person is absent a few, and get the compassion of broad society and support fully, everybody can help him condemn ” of a third party of the man of negative heart and that “ , family and friend are OK admonish or coerce they do not divorce. But final result is worth us very much however thoughtful: Sympathize with how many problem can you solve? Are we done so whether can you let this family reunion of husband and wife after an enforced separation or rupture? Even if man returns to a family by force of public opinion pressure, is their life henceforth met calm? Will see a problem from the fact not so simple. What is the problem that then we should analyse backside of this marriage case:

After the husband of Mu Nv person has an affair, two people of “ often quarrel and always endure husband dozen, oneself are driven beyond forbearance, daydream want to leave his ” . Already such, she can cast off this kind of anguish completely, what reason subdues ground tolerance even? It is “ not reconciled to on one hand, ill-affected, I am hated only without feeling to him and retaliate ” , it is a kind of performance that she cannot face reality essentially. Through retaliation she can find pilot sense, find psychological balance, otherwise she is very self-abased do not have face. She hates husband and want to retaliate her, the object that she is hated and makes reprisals finally essentially is herself, she hates her incapacity, this kind of resentment, anger and frustrate feeling can gnaw bite constantly her heart, this shadow can envelop her life all the time.

When should discovering husband affair actually, she or license settle way with changing a kind, quiet to come down to think or seek advice, after all the problem goes where, the marriage that can let oneself takes hopeless situation: Was to have child hind, is communication of care of two people each other little? Does the communication means that still is 2 people have a problem? Or other what reason? If want to let marital hold together,go down or marital quality is better, so what change have next or to what change have next or adjust? Perhaps the effect can have different.

Be afraid the key that also is anguish is nodded on the other hand, it is oneself divorce hind is penniless, what such meetings live is very hard and painstaking. The heart will be so so contradictory conflict, but do not divorce to be subdued again, indignant, with respect to meeting angst extremely.

　　 Viewpoint of → more expert

　　
More outstanding is her here pair of fear that assume life responsibility, perhaps say all the time since depend on completely to the husband, those who make marriage becomes her is all, the position that also makes so that oneself are in passive, accessary. If she still wants to maintain this kind of accessory place not to wish to assume responsibility, she can try to accept this kind of current situation only.

If she wants to cast off this kind of current situation, think the palm dominates his life, so must courage assumes the responsibility that has his, want to have the independent viability, life space that has oneself and social circle for instance. There can be more more sceneries, happy origins and self-worth feeling in her life so, left whose day to won’t collapse come down. Old perhaps instead consortium examines her afresh with eye of appreciation, valued.

Produced contradiction or crisis when marriage, not be eager to who finding out first is whose blame, touch war greatly; Or group those who remove condemn, to in an attempt to coerces with powerful momentum its give in. Otherwise, even if is to achieve a goal temporarily, if the root question in marriage is not solved, namely authorities person fan, that contradiction will still exist and grow in intensity probably, criterion the harm between each other, the scar that causes to the child especially is probable it is extremely serious, accompany lifetime even. If oneself is solved hard, had better seek professional marriage in time to seek advice from the help of division!

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